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What now (please help)?

I'm 18, a girl, bisexual, a depression sufferer, possibly with mild bipolar, an ex-cutter...
My family is fab, my friendships are good and my friends are nice. My school is lovely. My life on the whole should be awesome. And it is...
except that I've been through self-harm, been bullied from a young age, sexually harrassed which has left my body image and self esteem in tatters, I comfort eat which makes me put on weight which makes me feel ugly, I stress out, I have manic episodes where I can't control my words and so people think I'm high (when I'm not and never have been),I have really depressed episodes where I feel terrible, I have contemplated suicide (but never very seriously), I'm lonely and want a boy-girlfriend but don't know how to get one, I'm a high achiever so always trying to look like I'm fine... I had a breakdown last year, and now have dealt with most of these issues (except my mum's really bad health and the fact she's bullied at work, and our money worries which have haunted my childhood). But I feel broken, bruised, kind of empty, very aching,in pain... I cry a lot. To deal with it I engage in fantasy (imaginary friends, have done since I was little) which I know is pretend but it makes me feel better to be in my own imaginary world.
I don't know what to do... some days I'm fine, others I'm like this... Please comment and help me out. Please give me some honest advice. Please. Thank you xxx


Story shared: 16/11/2014 21:45:00

#4783 View the comments about this story Tags: Selfharm - Eating - cutting - depression - bipolar - fantasy - Help - money - Childhood - bisexual

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