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no help

My story started when I was 11 I was struggling at school and my family was having a lot of issues, because of being bullied I started self harming it was quite minor to begin with until a few months later I began cutting deep and used to take a few pills to take away my worries. I then couldn't cope at home and started running away a lot. The summer came and I met a guy who was 16 I was only 12 at the time but it felt like he cared until he started meeting me and only wanted sex I couldn't say no incase he pushed me away and left me. I started year 8 and it didn't last long on the second week back I drank a bottle of vodka before school to try and make things easier it didn't I fell in and out of consciousness collapsing every 2 minutes I lost awareness of my surroundings one of the teachers noticed and called and ambulance. When they arrived I was really agitated and couldn't talk barely, they rushed me to hospital on my arrival I could barely breath they gave me oxygen and tried to wake me up non of it worked. I was intubated and placed on mechanical ventilation I was in a coma for 3 days before I woke up,doctors told me the alcohol had stopped my organs from functioning and they began shutting down which they had to reverse. From then on it took a turn for the worst I was put into a mental facility and watched continuously day and night. I eventually left in November and went home but a week later I couldn't cope no longer I wanted to die there and then I left home during the night and went to a 4 storey car park. As I stood there I new this is what I wanted to die for good no more worries I let myself fall back and that's the last thing I remember 2 weeks later I woke up in Newcastle's specialist children's hospital in the icu. My mam was there and most of my family they told me that the fall had given me a bleed on the brain, fractured skull, broken vertebra in my spine and 4 broken ribs one of which punctured my lung. Everyone was told to prepare for the worst as the pressure on my brain wasn't getting better and I only had a 10% chance of survival. After 4 weeks in hospital I was allowed out I was placed in care as my parent's weren't able to take care of me. I still feel suicidal and cut a lot.

Story shared: 29/03/2016 20:11:43

#5330 View the comments about this story Tags: suicide - self harm - hospital - care

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