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The Final Episode

Well....my life has been a series of depressing disappointments from one mishap to another.When I was a kid I was always afraid of everything,people,certain places,etc.My father always belittled me for that saying I wasn't ready for the real world and it got to me,even as a child.As my elementary years started they were not that bad except for a few bullies.Middle school came and that's where my fathers words really started to come into play.I was new kid at my school and everyone thought I was wired both 7th and 8th grade so that's when my depression started.But highschool is what really fucked me up.My freshman year I developed extreme social anxiety and would throw up at home or in the bathroom stalls because of how much I hated it.I would beg on my knees for my mom to allow me to stay home another day.I almost killed my self to stop the ancient that whole year.My sophomore year my depression got even worse because I hopelessly fell in love with a girl who was way to perfect for me but I couldn't help it.It made me happy and was the only reason I decided to wake up everyday was to see her,but I knew that I was to much of a fucking looser to be even just friends with her so my depression worsened.I stopped caring about school and only cared about a girl who would never want me.She kind of became the reason I'm still alive because even today I've nothing to look forward too.So fast forward to now I'm a senior and my life is even worse I'm still in love with the same girl and still have social anxiety and everyone is ready for college and I'm still trying to survive high school.I work a shitty job and have no reason to live after high school because the only thing that keeps me alive will be gone.So I use skateboarding as an asset to get me through live and without it I would have been dead a long time ago.But I know my stories going to end up an early grave.With my severe depression who knows how much longer I'll make it but I know it will end soon.Believe it or not I do believe in GOD and hope that when I die I won't feel the pain anymore and I'll get to see her face again and here id like to pray for all those who are broken like me to be fixed and to all who read this have a healed heart.On that note thank you for reading this it means a lot

Story shared: 22/06/2016 09:36:59

#5337 View the comments about this story Tags: Hope childhood depression heartbreak

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